The Learning Nook

We let our Disney annual passes expire over a year and a half ago.  My daughter and I have been going through withdrawl, and my husband is tired of being tolerant while we whine, "We want Disney!"  So, I set a health goal for myself and, if met, we are getting those passes back and spending 2 glorious weeks immersed in the magic of The World.

2 glorious weeks, you ask?  Oh yes.  I love Disney for many reasons.  But one of the biggest is because of how they handle my daughter.  Yes, they are a huge mega-corporation.  Yes, they own most of Orlando.  Yes, they border on a dictatorship.  But they care.  

Is that possible?  I didn't think so until I experienced it myself.

Someone (a better writer than myself) recently wrote a piece that could have flowed from my own pen.  (Except that I use a keyboard and much less evocative language.)  I am posting it here so others can know *exactly* why I love Disney.  Because everything, EVERYTHING this woman wrote has happened to us.  

I truly cannot wait to go back.... 

We Were Not Disney People... But We Are Now!

(How Catering to Our Special Diets Won Us Over)

by Laura Schmitt

AllEars® Guest Columnist

We were not Disney people. Far from it, in fact. When Eric and I started dating 15 years ago, we considered ourselves a bit individualistic. We watched foreign films, ate ethnic food, listened to music you'd never hear on a radio and so on. With all our might, we ducked and weaved away from the flow of mainstream. When we became parents, we used cloth diapers, I nursed our babies. Heck, I made their baby food, sewed their dresses (OK, only some of them) and we made their toys! Notice a trend here?

So how did we end up in Walt Disney World? When did the first addictive bite begin? It all started with a little grain called gluten... let me explain.As our girls reached the ages of 3 and 6, I began talking to Eric about a family vacation. A BIG one. One that didn't involve us sleeping upstairs from my parents or his. Hmm... this was going to take some planning.

I began researching places and we had two BIG criteria to meet.First, it had to be a place we could drive or fly to affordably. We are smack dab in the center of the country and I was not about to spend $2000 to get to our destination! Chicago and St Louis were both in driving distance, but boy -- wouldn't it be nice to go to a beach?

I started looking and wouldn't you know that flights to Orlando, Florida, were cheap. Very cheap! We're talking a fraction of the cost of flying anywhere else in the country! Hmm... maybe the airline was trying to tell us something? Hey! Isn't DISNEY WORLD in Orlando? My husband protested, "We are NOT going to Disney World when Bella is only 3. She is too young. She'll be overwhelmed, overtired, over cranky... over it. No."

As any dedicated organizing mom would do, I started searching. Where, oh where, can a gluten-free, dairy-free family go for vacation? I found two places. A ranch in Wyoming and -- what is this? DISNEY WORLD!

But wait -- I could remember hearing the voice of my husband in the back of my joy. What was it he was saying? No Disney? Not Disney? Now Disney? Yes, that was it! He must have said NOW! Book that Disney vacation pronto! Of course that is what he meant. So, off I went to find a resort.

I approached Eric in the evening when the girls were in bed. I came armed with my information on where to stay and when. I told him in my sweetest voice that while I respected his decision to wait until Bella was 5 years old to go to Disney World, my hands were tied. It was the only place we could go where I didn't need to bring a kitchen along with me. And furthermore, Bella would be turning 4 that same month so she would be ALMOST 5, and that is when he said we could go, so it really is about, almost, exactly what he wanted!He started to protest a bit, I recall, and he repeated his concerns about Bella being too young. But I started showing him pictures of the resort and details of the low allergen foods and a recap of the discounts! My joy was just beaming from within. He was quickly convinced. While Eric doesn't like crowds, he loves his family of women, and he thought that Animal Kingdom Lodge was looking pretty cool. So we were officially booked!

Getting food figured out was as EASY as a gluten-free pudding pie! I just emailed the Executive Chef department of Magic Kingdom and they sent me an email attachment that I treasure as a piece of Disney Magic right in my very own inbox. It was a listing of where and what we could eat that was gluten-free and dairy-free in the World. Wow. It listed restaurants that could easily accommodate us and spots for finding snacks. Oh, how I loved that happy email attachment. Life was looking fine! Now all we had to do was wait a few weeks and we would be on our way.

While we were dining in Disney World, the chefs came to our table at the start of every meal. We found that there were plenty of gluten-free, dairy-free choices and we were feasting like kings and queens. Often, the chefs seemed to enjoy our food restrictions as a fun challenge to mix it up a bit. Maybe cooking the same ol' steak night after night gets boring? Who knows, but everywhere we went, the chefs always made us feel incredibly special and well taken care of.

In the mornings, we headed down to our hotel quick service restaurant, called Mara, for breakfast. I would start by going up to the counter to let them know that we'd need gluten-free dairy-free breakfast. This was the cue for the chef to come out and greet us. Now, I always feel badly about this. I KNOW they are busy back there in the kitchen and I KNOW they really don't love to just up and drop everything to come talk to me, but you would never know it for how nice the chefs are at Disney World. And let me tell you something -- Chef Eddie at Mara was no exception! He brought my daughter gluten-free, dairy-free waffles and he made me dairy-free eggs with fruit. Not only did he hook us up, but he came out to check on Taylor, he asked her if she liked her food, complimented her on her cool endangered animal t-shirt and found out if she was available to date one of his sons in the future.

I liked Chef Eddie. I like people who treat my family so special. I like it when my little girl doesn't have to be the only one left out of things at social events involving food. I liked that she got some extra positive attention in Disney World. And I liked that everyone in my family was happy. What's not to like? (And did I mention I liked the vacation from my kitchen duties? Oh yeah. That was a BIG bonus!)

One of our dinners was a character meal at a place called Liberty Tree Tavern. Now, we come from Iowa, where a good meal consists of lots of meat, potatoes, corn, butter, and probably some sort of pie or cake. We are farm food kind of people, even with our love of ethnic foods. Some things you just can't change. Give me a Thanksgiving dinner and I'm a happy girl. I told our server about our food allergies and a chef came out promptly.

They brought us a ton of gluten-free, dairy-free food. We had ham, turkey, potatoes, gravy made with rice flour, buns, you name it! It was like Thanksgiving on steroids! I was in my childhood joy with a feast before me that was so yummy and nostalgic. Taylor was so easy to feed here, as there were so many gluten-free, dairy-free options to be had! She paused from her eating to say, "Mama, they sure have a lot of gluten-free bread in Florida!"

It was at this meal that we were celebrating Bella's 4 (almost exactly 5) year-old birthday! I asked, with all the hope I could muster in my voice, if they had a cupcake for Bella and a -- gulp -- gluten-free, dairy-free dessert for my other daughter.

Did they ever. I could kiss every person in that place! They brought Bella a chocolate cupcake with sprinkles. She LOVED it with all her might. Chocolate is her favorite, of course. Here was our little Bella. Turning 4 in Disney World. How could we EVER top that? We were so happy that we could give her that moment. That memory. Pluto clapping as her birthday song was sung -- chocolate cake, sprinkles, Mom, Dad, big sister, and Bella in her finest princess style sporting her extremely large birthday button. Her face was pressed back in such a determined smile that new dimples were established on her cheeks that very night. She was so beautiful, perfect, and happy in that moment.

And as if a mama needs more than that to fill her cup of joy -- well, as if I needed or could even withstand any more happiness -- out comes the chef with a gluten-free, dairy-free chocolate brownie in the shape of a little Bundt pan. It was served warm with one large scoop of Vanilla Rice Dream on top.

Perfect. I love those people and those mice, and the dogs, and that Goofy -- all of it. Taylor was so happy to NOT be left out of Bella's birthday dessert. Really, so happy. Taylor is always left out of what the other kids have for desserts. Of course I send her desserts, but hers are always different and not the same. Well, this time she felt that hers was even BETTER! She was so enjoying herself. We all were. I hated for that dinner to end.

With as much fun, joy, and inclusion as we had during our five days at Disney, it was a no-brainer that we'd be going back again. We've been twice since 2007 with another trip planned in 2008! I'm sure it will be our family staple for vacations for years to come. I would like to say we're there because of the rides, the castle, the characters. I'd like to say it is purely for my children. True, the joy that beams from their faces is worth its weight in gold. But how could I be honest without mentioning that Disney World is the ONLY break I get from my kitchen all year long? And what a break it is! We dine like royalty. We are never without a thing when we are in Disney World and my daughter is always included in all aspects of our family vacation. I am so thankful the chefs are capable and willing to handle our allergies and I dare to hope that other restaurants, maybe even here in Iowa, will pick up on Disney's approach to dealing with allergies.

So, we started off in January 2007, skeptical about Disney, but ready to eat some good gluten-free and dairy-free food. Little did we know that we had bitten into a newfound travel addiction that would stretch our imaginations almost as much as it would stretch our budget! What's in store for our family in 2008, 2009? More Disney.

You can bet I'll be back to tell you! We are officially Disney people, now, and there's no stopping us. We have to feed our addiction with small bits of magic, pixie dust, and the occasional overwhelming heaping of joy. You know the kind. The kind that melts tall strong fathers and brings them to a pile of mush... the kind that brings families and friends together... the kind that makes new dimples appear on little cheeks from excessive smiling... the kind that warms my heart and brings a mist to my eyes whenever I think about it. Yeah, we are gonna need more of that kind of magic. 

Read the rest of My Love Affair with The Mouse

Camporee was last month and, as usual, Sydney had a ball! Girl Scouts is SUCH a good thing. I'm glad we are a part of it.  And it's only going to get better next year!

The Girl Scout Promise & Law (read it sometime - words to live by!)

What is Girl Scout camping without the S'mores?

The Brownie Mice watching a game of Red Rover

Our Pirate themed Camporee came with a real pirate (I question whether he hit the rum once too often during the day, but trying to entertain 400 girls can be no easy task!)

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So...we've been reading the first Harry Potter book.  Harry Potter & The Sorcerer's Stone.  Of course, Sydney has enjoyed it.  I knew she would.  We're nearly done - only 2 or 3 more chapters.  Tonight, she asked to watch the DVD.  I've had it for years.  Of course I have.

I know I am a geek, but there has been something (no snickers) magical about sharing Harry Potter with Sydney.  I waited until I thought she could handle the story context and imagery.  I didn't want to introduce it too soon and have her scared of it.

Why?  I have a confession.  I'm 37 years old and am in love with Harry Potter.    It happened many years ago, when I lived in Iowa.  I was pregnant and I heard about this hot new kids book.  Liking the whole "wizardry" idea, I picked up a copy.  I made it through the first chapter or two and instantly fell in love.  I knew this book would capture the imaginations of children.  I knew it would turn kids into readers.

So, I daydreamed about the day I would read it with my kid.  The one I was carrying.

Then it happened.  I miscarried.  Harry Potter, as well as my dreams, were put away.

Fast forward more than a year and I find myself in mid-pregnancy.  I dust off the copy of Harry Potter and devour it in a weekend.  That was it.  That's all it took.  Harry Potter was forever intertwined with my child.  Before she even took her first breath, she was destined.

Tonight we watched the DVD of Harry Potter & The Sorcerer's Stone and I got tears in my eyes.   (I told you I was a geek!)  I remembered how long I wanted to share this story with my child - this magical story of good & evil, of integrity & honesty, of friendship & family, all wrapped up in a cloak of adventure and fun.  I remembered how I found him, how I dreamed about sharing him; how I lost him and my baby.

Harry Potter can't die in the 7th book.  It would be like reliving my loss all over again; and this time my daughter would grieve as well.

Read the rest of Harry Potter, The Boy Who Cannot Die

You know, the guy even had the audacity to say he was on the way to the gym and just wanted to give Rover some exercise before he left. ARGH! At least he isn't driving a Mercedes or something - that would really put me over the edge.

Read the rest of THIS is why Americans are hated!

A friend in my local homeschool group posted a link to a song that should become the anthem for all homeschoolers, educators, teachers, and parents who recognize that No Child Left Behind is one of the worse things to ever suck the life out of a student.

It's Not on the Test

Read the rest of It’s Not on the Test

We went swimming after PE today. We were all hot and sweaty and the pool was calling us. On the way out the backdoor, the Weather Channel had a snippet on about somewhere in Wyoming. It was a LIVE shot of someone shoveling out of a couple feet of snow.

Reason #4,532

Why I Love Where I Live....

Swimming in March!

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Me: "The Arctic terns migrate from the Arctic to the Antarctic every fall and then turn around in the spring and fly back from the Antarctic to the Arctic."

SmartAleck: "When do they go see Uncle Arctic?"

Read the rest of Frigid Relatives

Ok, so resolutions may be trite and out-dated. But there is obviously something to the feelings of rebirth we get each year that makes us want to make a change. This year I thought I would actually take pen to paper (or fingers to keyboard) and document my resolutions. Now, you must admit, this is brave. Not only will the world know what makes me feel inadequate, but I will have it all down in black and white to look back on and (hopefully) see the progress I have made.

In no particular order.....

• Value my health and make changes to improve it
• Target only myself with my own criticism (!!!)
• Exude nothing but the most profound patience
• Cherish the homeschooling journey
• Visit my grandmother at least once a month
• Spend no more than 1 hour per day on the computer (turn it OFF during down times)
• Go to bed by 11 pm (!) and wake up by 7 am (!)
• Treat those I love the most the best (why are we so polite to strangers and snap at our kids?)
• Maintain a writing journal and add to it at least twice a week
• Wait at least 12 hours before responding to an inflammatory email or post
• Locate a safe local restaurant for our family to enjoy outings in occassionally
• Read at least one work of fiction a month ~ just for fun

That's it for now. I may add to it later. I want to try and focus on being a person *I* would be proud to know.

Read the rest of ~ Carolyn’s 2007 Resolutions ~

I've been noticing something lately and, though I hate to begrudge any group it's needful exposure, I question why so much attention has been paid to those individuals who have Celiac's Disease, or some variant.

I am noticing more and more products that say GLUTEN-FREE on the label. My local heath-food store where I buy my daughter's safe granola bars has GLUTEN-FREE signs all over the place.

Have you ever seen a label that say PEANUT FREE? Well, here in America I mean. I understand the Canadians are much better at this than we. (For the sake of honesty, I will advertise ONE product in America that I am aware of that specifically prints PEANUT FREE on their label - Phillyswirls! THANKS Alex!)

Why do you think that is? People with gluten issues will not immediately die if they eat wheat. Generally, many of them can even tolerate moderate amounts of it. Why has such an effort been made to identify products "safe" for a population that, truly, IS safe. Whereas the peanut allergic population must exist in the background reading convoluted ingredient labels, calling manufacturer after manufacturer, and praying that the next bite won't be "it."

Maybe there are just more people who suffer from Celiac's. Could that be it? I don't think so. According to a study referenced on www.celiac.com, about 1 in 133 Americans have a gluten intolerance. Symptoms of someone suffering from a gluten intolerane can range from "mild weakness, bone pain, and aphthous stomatitis to chronic diarrhea, abdominal bloating, and progressive weight loss.3"

Weakness, diarrhea, and weight loss? How about this: Anaphylaxis is a sudden, severe, potentially fatal, systemic allergic reaction that can involve various areas of the body (such as the skin, respiratory tract, gastrointestinal tract, and cardiovascular system). An anaphylactic reaction may begin with a tingling sensation, itching, or metallic taste in the mouth. Other symptoms can include hives, a sensation of warmth, asthma symptoms, swelling of the mouth and throat area, difficulty breathing, vomiting, diarrhea, cramping, a drop in blood pressure, and loss of consciousness. These symptoms may begin in as little as five to 15 minutes to up to two hours after exposure to the allergen, but life-threatening reactions may progress over hours.

So for hours, you have to worry if you are going to die. But no special manufacturing standards or labeling. WHY? OK, let's go back to the assumption that celiac's affects more people. What was it? 1 in 133?

According to The Food Allergy & Anaphylaxis Netowrk, about 12 million Americans have a true food allergy. That's about 1 in 24. But my gripe is really about peanut allergies being ignored, so let's just look at their numbers. 3 million Americans have a peanut or tree nut allergy. That's what, about 1 in 98 or so.

So there are more people allergic to peanuts, people actually DIE from them, and peanut allergies doubled from 1997 to 2002.

WTF?!

I'm not sure why this realization dawned on me recently. I have no problem with people suffering from celiac's and I know a number of people who suffer from it and I know it is no picnic. But why does it appear that "GLUTEN FREE" is not demonized like "PEANUT FREE" tends to be?

I was reading on www.peanutallergy.com tonight about people flying on airlines and how accomodating, or not so accomodating, they can be. Continental has got to be the worst. They just don't care. How can you look into the face of a 4 year old and refuse to do something as simple as serve pretzels instead of peanuts? Or even just ask the people around him to not eat the peanuts? How can they be so callous? Does this child's life mean nothing to you?

That being said...we don't fly. I'm all about personal responsibility and being in total control of the safety of Sydney's environment. I'm not relinquishing that at 15,000 feet. It kills me to ask our good friends to make accomodations, and still I remain alert.

Anyway, I've run off on a tangent. I'm just trying to get a handle on why the difference in products being marked GLUTEN FREE and the ones marked PEANUT FREE. Maybe it is a liability thing - if you say PEANUT FREE, you had better be damn sure.

Read the rest of Why the difference?

I have been following the multiple, independent school shootings around the country.  (What the hell is going on?!)  But the one that has affected me the most is the Amish school in Pensylvania.  I'm not a religious person.  In fact, in the traditional sense, I am a non-believer.  But I respect those who embrace their religion and live their lives without apology, and with exactitude toward their teachings.

The Amish have always held my respect.  For the horror of our world to intrude upon the innocence of theirs was, to me, wholly unfair.  I am not saying that murdering 5 public school children would be any less heinous but, somehow, what happened in that Amish school was unbearable.

Could you forgive?  Seriously.  In your deepest, darkest recesses when reliving the pain and horror your daughter went through in her final minutes - when thinking about the life she won't have - could you truly forgive?

I hope I never have to find out.  My instinct tells me no.  But I am overwhelmed at the Amish.  They not only forgive the murderer, but they embrace his family.  They attend his funeral!  I cannot even begin to fathom the type of person who can do that.

Their actions do not sway my beliefs, but I can have nothing but respect for people who so totally live their teachings.  I think that is why I have had such a disrespect for organized religion in the past.  I have never seen this profound "living the word."  So many people pay it lip service but, when push comes to shove, how many of them would be as strong as the Amish?

They are better people that I.

Read the rest of They are better people than I

I can't believe it has been 10 days since I last posted something. A lot has happened in that time. Not a lot of school - at least not the traditional kind. But a lot, none-the-less.

Most importantly, my sister had her baby! Hayden William was born 8 days early on September 18th and still weighed 9 1/2 pounds! Whew! He's had some trouble and ended up in hospital for an extended stay. But all seems improved now and this afternoon they were finally able to come home. It is killing me that I can't be there for my sister. I hope she knows I am thinking of her.

Here's the cutie!

We also had a 3 day vacation to Disney. Of course, we ended up needing a vacation from our vacation. I don't know what it is. We go there aaaalllllllllllll the time, but we still run around like lunatics and try to cram as much into each day as we can. Luckily, this was easily done since the parks were SOOO empty. One morning we rode Big Thunder Mountain 3 times in a row without ever getting off!

While we were at Disney, I was able to visit with a good friend from my Iowa days who was here vacationing with her immediate and extended family. It was funny how it all worked out - she was coming to FL the same time we scheduled our Disney vacation. Then we found out she was actually going to Disney too. THEN we found out we were staying in the same hotel! We didn't end up in rooms next to each other like we predicted, but that's OK. We got to spend a couple of wonderful hours together letting the kids swim and catching up with each other. My spirit was lifted to see her again. I last saw her when we left Iowa 5 1/2 years ago. This was the woman who held my hand through a miscarriage, a new (but unsteady) pregnancy, a cyst on Syd's brain, genetic testing, hydronephrosis, a labor from HELL, and the tenuous beginning of my journey as a new mother. She is the most gentle, upbeat, positive woman I know and I am a better person for having her in my life.

So, that's about the highlights. We had Girl Scouts, drama classes, gymnastics, etc. in the last 10 days too. I think even a spanish co-op or two. Lots of reading and on-the-fly learning. (Epcot is a BOON to every homeschooler!) But now we're ready to get back into the groove.

Read the rest of I’m back…

It's 2 am and I still can't sleep. They say if you write about something, you can work through it and find some closure. I don't know. Maybe it's nothing, but I feel so beat up I'm going to at least try. I'm going to write a letter to the people I wasn't able to speak clearly to today. Will I send it? Probably not. But maybe it will silence the sounds in my head.

Dr. Dr. Devoe and Donna,

Today didn't go as well as I'd hoped. I am sorry that Sydney was unable to complete the skin-prick allergy test. She really is a wonderful child. Normally, she doesn't have a problem with medical procedures. Maybe it took her by surprise. I never thought you'd want a test today. We are usually thorough about walking through any procedure step-by-step at home - before we do it. We didn't get a chance to today.

I am sorry if Sydney frustrated you. I was shocked by her reaction. She doesn't have that look of terror in her eyes over too many things. I had no choice but to take it seriously. It may have been just a simple skin prick test to you, but to a frightened little 6 year old, it was terrifying. I knew as soon as she started crying that you'd be mad. I knew that you would resist when I told you what I wanted tested on her bloodwork.

I don't get emotional about many things. Not weepy-emotional anyway. But when I feel backed in a corner over Sydney's food allergies I find it hard to maintain composure. Never did I expect to be met with resistance in her allergists office.

Sydney almost died 5 years ago. She was a sweet 19 month old baby without a care in the world. In an instant, she almost died. Not quietly, silently slipping away. But a violent, wrenching, painful death. I will carry the image of her on that ER table to my grave. I must. It has kept me vigilant these last 5 years. It has kept her alive.

Sydney has as normal a life as I can give her. She has many friends who love her. She is very smart. She is very funny. She cares so much about the world around her and the people in it. But there is so much she doesn't know. She doesn't know what it is like to eat in a restaurant. She doesn't know what school is - we homeschool. She doesn't know what it is like to leave your house each day without having to make sure your life-saving medication is with you. She just doesn't know. My desire to have her blood tested for so many foods was an effort to help her become just a little bit more normal. If there is some food we avoid, that we really don't need to, I'd like to change that.

Donna, you were impressed that we have gone 5 years and never had a reaction. You congratulated us. Whatever I am doing, it is obviously working. I understand Dr. Devoe told you just 5 foods could be tested for. I know that. But how could you tell me it is MY CHOICE to keep those other foods out of my house? How many children have you seen that are allergic to just one food? Not many. What did you want me to do? Sit her at my kitchen table and give her a shrimp and see if she dies?

Testing for just 5 things seemed like a punishment for Sydney's behavior. Yes, I understand more blood is needed for more things. But at 2 years old, she was tested for 10 things. Why would you limit it now? It was spiteful. As was slamming the file, and the door, as I called after you asking you to come back to discuss it. I've never had a medical professional be so, well, unprofessional before.

I will never back down when advocating for my daughter. She lost an entire year seeing her grandparents because they refused to "get it." I have spent countless hours educating others on food allergies. I have transformed my life and my kitchen in order to create as normal food experiences as I can for Sydney. I have lived in fear for 5 years. I will not have anyone judge my family for our CHOICE to keep highly allergenic foods out of the house until she is tested.

We're going to try this one more time. My hope is that you will remember you are dealing with a little girl. A sweet little girl who was just scared and needed some understanding. I am going to focus my energy on a good encounter for our next meeting. I hope this wish somehow reaches you and you receive us in the same spirit.

Read the rest of Dear Dr. Devoe & Donna…

Why is it impossible to tell the truth and not end up feeling like the bad guy? Why do I end up feeling so hated? Society says that honesty is valued, but I think that in reality everyone would rather just live in their politically correct, touchy-feely, all-is-good bubble and not really know the truth.

I told the Mom hosting art co-op that we won't be attending because she lives too far away. It would be about a 50 minute drive from my house. She is not even in our county! She moved out of it last year. She has chosen not to attend events "in town" because it is too far for her. So, I thought she would understand. Nope. And since there have been other cancellations (for more "correct" reasons) she is feeling like shit and everyone is rallying around her with, "awww, don't let it get you down" comments.

So, I guess I am the bad guy.

Next time I'll lie and say we have a doctor's appointment.

Read the rest of Why is it impossible to tell the truth?

There is a Meredith Brooks song that starts off that way. Certainly fits the way I feel right now. This is a long, boring, personal tirade of the most selfish, petty, and bitchy kind. Read at your own risk.

First, I am pissed off at the yearbook committee for my homeschool group. 5 women should never be put on a committee to make ANY decisions. It just doesn't work. We couldn't come up with a damn date to meet, so we did the best we could and 3 of us met at Panera one night. Damned of 1 or 2 of the one's not there didn't undo everything we decided on at Panera! ARGH! I am not going to waste my &%^$@ time anymore!

Then I found out that for the SECOND time, Sydney has not been invited to a birthday party of one of her "friends" who "accidentally" missed her party (though they'd RSVP'd they would be here). God dammit - why are these people being so f-ing mean to my kid?! I swear, she really is a sweet little girl. She is going to be devastated when she hears about this party because, not only does she like the boy, it is at her favorite ice skating rink.

Then I've got my ^%$#! sister-in-law from hell that I am just learning is about as fake and 2-sided they come. She can give a rats ass about Sydney's peanut allergy and conveniently "forgot" and ate a snickers on the way over to visit. Later that night, after we'd gone home, there was a discussion and much eye-rolling and declarations of, "Well, MY baby is going to eat peanut butter." Yeah. I hope so. I hope she doesn't die from it like mine would. So, now I am getting worked up and worried that the ONE safe place besides my house (my mothers house) will have visits from a rugrat weilding a peanut butter sandwich.

I am about the most anal-retentive person in the world. I admit I have that fault. If I am supposed to be somewhere at a specific time, I'm usually 15 minutes early. I get directions off the Internet days in advance and NEVER get lost. So, when a field trip we are scheduled to go on this Friday is 1/2 way across the state, I jump on it. Especially because I have committed to bringing 2 kids of a friend and I would hate to get lost with them with me. But, the only directions the organizer is giving is "get on 192 and drive west - you can't miss it." 192 is HUGE and LONG and I'd be driving thru many towns to find this place in unfamiliar territory. Of course, when I put in the address (that *I* had to locate online) into mapquest, it's telling me it is way farther than the organizer's estimate. So, I post about it on our group site. 50 emails start flying around and the organizer gets back on and basically reiterates the same thing. Get on 192, drive west, you can't miss it. ARGH! At least another member straightened it out and (hopefully) we won't get lost now.

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What I need most right now is love and understanding from my family. Instead I've got my (usually sweet) daughter being hateful and ugly to me. My sister is visiting and Sydney ADORES her. I am trying to give them as much private time as possible because my sister is pregnant and this is the last visit where Syd will be #1 in her book (of course). So, I've tried to back off and let them have time alone. But I am getting sick and tired of Sydney shoving me away or telling me to "please leave" (yes, at least she is polite) when I make an effort to join them. I have always taught her to include her others when she is playing with friends and I have never seen her exclude someone. My lucky %$#@! day.

OK, they say that writing about what troubles you helps you work it out. I don't feel any better though. I still hate the world today.

Read the rest of I hate the world today…